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One thing I found was that it’s so easy to lie about your finances. You can even hide your financial problems from relatives and close friends. No one has to know that you are dangerously close to your credit limits on six credit cards. No one has to know that you have absolutely no more savings in your bank account because you spent it all on new clothes, furniture for your house that’s really too big, and that awesome birthday party for your two-year old. And no one has to know that you can’t sleep at night because you’re worried about how you’re going to make it through another month.
Hiding my financial situation was one of my biggest problems. I, like so many other people, thought I had to go along with whatever my friends and family were doing. I went out to eat with them even when I knew I couldn’t afford it, bought the latest fashions when I didn’t need any new clothes, and took expensive trips just because everyone else was doing it. It was all part of living “the good life.” It never occurred to me that I could (or should) tell my family and friends “no” or find a cheaper alternative.
When I was single and out on my own, the debt slowly started to build. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle at the time, so I didn’t give it much thought. The debt kept creeping up, but my spending never slowed down. After I got married, my husband’s debt was added to mine, and the bills continued to climb. I had no idea what debt he had before we got married, because I thought it would be impolite to ask about finances. We both adore our son, but it took us awhile before we realized that you don’t need to buy every new baby and child gadget on the market to raise a happy, healthy child. We lavished him with too many things and increased our debt in the process.
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Debt problems rarely take us completely by surprise. We know what we’re doing, but we might not want to face the problem or do anything about it. We lie to ourselves and to others about how much we can afford and how bad our financial situation really is. I’ve done it, you’ve probably done it, and millions of people all over the world have done it. So, where do you go from here?
My suggestion for you:
Start being completely honest about your finances TODAY! You don’t need to let everyone know the details of your financial situation, but you DO need to be truthful about what you can and can’t afford. “I need to save my money for ________”, “I’m choosing to use my extra money for ________”, or even “No, thank you” is all you need to tell anyone. Stand strong on this. It’s the first step in getting control of your finances and the best way out of the debt trap.
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